8 Unhelpful Thinking Patterns to Watch Out For
Approx. 5 minute read
In my early days as a Vocational Rehabilitation Consultant, I worked with injured workers whose conditions ranged from the physical to the psychological. By the time they were referred for our services, they had often been struggling for some time to return to work with little to show for it. In my experience, one of the biggest differences among those who overcame their odds and returned a semblance of normality to their lives was not the severity of their injury, it was the nature of the beliefs and thought patterns that that they used to see them through their dark times.
We all have deep-set, subconscious beliefs that determine to what degree we see ourselves as worthy, safe, competent, and loved. It goes without saying that negative beliefs can damage our self-esteem or sense of self-worth. Furthermore, if you’re human, chances are you have one or more negative beliefs about yourself that you’ve noticed get in your way, or perhaps you’d like to change.
Unfortunately, beliefs are difficult to change without a great degree of introspection and effort. Fortunately, it is easier to trace our negative emotions back to a more visible artifact of our core beliefs – cognitive distortions – and work from there. Distortions are types of thoughts that contribute to negative emotions and fuel unhelpful thinking patterns. They can seem accurate in the moment, but stand on shaky footing and can be refuted by some robust internal dialogue.
How many of the below have you engaged in previously?
Over Generalisation
Seeing a single negative event as the rule, rather than the exception. For example, “This always happens! Whenever I wash my car, it rains!”
All-or-Nothing Thinking
Viewing life as black or white, rather than as shades of grey. Life is seen as win or lose, perfect or a failure. For example, when a slip up happens on a diet, this distortion would lead us to tell ourselves “I’ve blown out my diet completely!”
Blaming
Blaming others for a situation without considering our own part in it. For example, “you’re the reason I never pursued my dreams of working overseas!"
Mind Reading
Using previous experience to assume that someone is reacting negatively to you, with no evidence to support your conclusion. For example, “she didn’t message me ‘good night’ yesterday. She must be mad at me”.
Labelling
Attaching strong, emotionally charged negative labels to self or others that can abstract the reality of the situation. For example, “I’m such a loser”, “he is an (expletive deleted)”, “I’m stupid”.
Mental Filter
Picking out a single negative detail following an event and dwelling on it, despite available evidence which suggests that there is a range of positives to be considered. For example, disregarding many positive comments about your work, and focusing on one piece of constructive feedback, thereby dismissing all positive qualities of what you’ve done.
‘Should’ Statements
One of the all-time greatest hits on the soundtrack of my life, ‘should’ statements involve telling ourselves that thinks should or shouldn’t happen as they do. For example, “I should go and exercise this morning. I shouldn’t be so lazy.”
Fallacy of Fairness
The belief that life is (or should be) fair, according to our personal definition of fairness. Repeatedly judging situations according to their ‘fairness’ will often result in bruised egos, hurt feelings and resent as events continue to disappoint. Fallacies of fairness are often expressed as conditional statements, for example "if he loved me, he would make more of an effort with the chores!"
The reality is, once you pinpoint one or more of the cognitive distortions that you might engage in, it can be easy to see how they make you feel. In a word – bad. What then is to be done? Once you are able to identify those thoughts on a repeated basis, challenging your conclusions is the first step to re-framing your beliefs. Some questions I like to ask myself when I notice myself having a particularly distorted thought include:
Is this thought based on feelings or facts?
What evidence do you have to support your thoughts?
What is the worst outcome that could occur?
What is the best outcome that could occur?
What is the most realistic outcome likely to be?
Is this thinking helping the situation, or making it worse?
What are other potential explanations for this event?
Am I making any assumptions?
The above is be a good starting point in refuting your negative cognitions which, over time, should diminish their potency and replace them with more rational and balanced thoughts. Of course, if you find that your own distortions are particularly strong or intrusive, there is no shame in working through them with a Psychologist, Counsellor, or other mental health professional.
References:
Beck, A. T. (1976). Cognitive therapies and emotional disorders. New York: New American Library.
Burns, D. D. (2012). Feeling good: The new mood therapy. New York: New American Library.
