Who Am I? How to Manage Transitions of Identity
Approx. 3 minute read
"Who am I?"
At a certain point, each individual faces the complexities of determining their self-concept. As social creatures, we often align our identities with group membership as a social statement about who we are and how we want others to think of us. Consider for example, the identity of an athlete. In elite athletes, this personal 'schema' helps the athlete interpret information, drives them towards a specific pattern of behaviour and can define how the athlete evaluates their personal worth.
Despite providing athletes with a strong sense of self, providing a boost to confidence, discipline and drive to engage in exercise behaviour, I have seen time and time again that over reliance on one's sense of identity (no matter what shape it takes) can be problematic, even painful when we are inevitably faced with change or transition.
" Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future." John F. Kennedy
Though we are predisposed to resist change due to the risks associated with it, life carries with it thousands of variables that elude even our best efforts to control them. Given the inevitability of change, it is wise to hold our thoughts, feelings, emotions and sense of identity lightly.
To continue the example of the elite athlete, as they dedicate more time and resources of the pursuit of goals, make sacrifices and (sometimes) put other areas of life on hold, it is not uncommon to see a narrowing of perspective, sometimes mislabeled as 'dedication'. As life naturally takes the athlete away from their sport (whether through injury or retirement), the adjustment process can be markedly more difficult if they have never spent time considering their sense of self outside of the sporting arena.
"Change before you have to." Jack Welch
Whether you are an athlete, a professional, or any number of other identities prone to change, the following recommendations can help prepare for a gentler and easier transition when faced with the inevitable:
Reduce Role-Identity Fusion: Though most identities can provide the individual with a positive self-concept, exclusive identification with that role can quickly become problematic. Try to broaden the amount of identities you have, or hats you wear by expanding your self-concept to other areas (professional, social, familial, etc).
Get in Touch With Values: Rather than what you are, try to consider why you engage in the behaviours that you do for a closer connection with your deeper values. Consider how those values play out in other domains, including leisure, personal growth, relationships and professional and try to take committed actions to move you closer to values, rather than the roles that drive you.
Equip Yourself With The Right Tools: The acquisition of stress and time management skills will equip you with practical tools to help you better cope with the transition period, and balance different roles. With the right mix of pragmatism and mindset, you can be both an athlete and a [insert different identity].
Fail to Prepare, Prepare to Fail: Starting the process of proactive planning is no betrayal to your chosen sport, profession, etc. If you consider that change is inevitable, preparing adequately for the next step will help minimize the shock experienced when it finally comes and regain a sense of control during an emotionally turbulent period.
Seek support: Sometimes, asking for help is the most meaningful sign of self-reliance. Though I cannot claim the credit for that sentiment, I can assure you that there is a plethora of people waiting in the wings, ready to support you should you ask, whether they are friends, managers or family members. Seeking assistance from a transition coach can also help cut down on ambiguity and provide you with a stable, guiding hand as you struggle to find your feet.
Though by no means an exhaustive list, the above steps are a great starting point for generating the right momentum for a mindset shift, as well as cultivating self-awareness both of which are key to a healthy and successful transition.
